


Let's Get Out of Here You Bastard

by Khoshekh42



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Humor, Like, M/M, Percy cries, Repetition, am i funny?, but its okay, i think, tiny angst though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 06:36:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8879710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khoshekh42/pseuds/Khoshekh42
Summary: Percy gets kissed on the cheek by Vax during the battle with K'varn, and it leads to him figuring some things out about himself.





	

“Let’s get out of here you bastard!” And Percy felt lips press against his cheek. His eyebrows shot up, and his mouth fell open slightly. Time stopped for a moment as Percy looked into Vax’ildan’s eyes. He shook it off as Vax turned and took control of the flying carpet. 

Just as time stopped as Percy fell into Vax’s eyes, time flew as they rushed through the rest of the battle, and swiftly made their way to the beach, Tiberius creating his teleportation circle. 

They found themselves back in a dimly lit room, and time stopped again.   
Everything stopped. And Percy finally stood off the carpet. 

“Where are we?” Someone asked. 

And finally Tiberius responded, “Emon.”

“We’re safe.” Percy said, almost asked. And, realizing that they actually were, he laughed. A grin spreading across his blood spattered face. “We’re safe!”

Until everyone, all at once it seemed, saw that the Horn of Orcus was still sitting on the flying carpet. Percy’s grin slowly fell. 

Tiberius asked for Grog to open the bag of holding. He placed telekinesis on the Horn, and placed it into the bag. 

Soon, after arguing for a while about whether they should put Kima, who was currently made of stone, into the bag of holding as well, Vax began trying to pick the lock of the door in the room. 

And then they were in the presence of a man who told them where they were, what was happening, and finally how to get back to their home. 

Getting out into, what they found, was the night air, they found they all spread their arms to feel the wind, and looked up to see the sky. 

“Stars.” Percy whispered, a smile finally coming back to his face.

“It’s beautiful.” He heard Vax mutter. Percy glanced at Vax, and noticed he was looking back at Percy.

Grog farted, effectively ruining the moment. But everyone laughed regardless, for how Grog it was. 

After a moment to catch their breaths, Percy suggested that they all go on a pub crawl to get back to Greyskull Keep. Light flashed through Vax’s eyes. “Fantastic idea, Percy!” And off they went to the first bar they got to, Grog exited to finally get ale back in his cask, dragging the stone form of Lady Kima along behind him. 

Getting to their fourth or fifth bar, Percy’s friends partied, and shouted loudly with the rest of the bar, while Percy decidedly sat in the corner, nursing his first drink at that pub. He thought back to what had happened. The portal of strange purple mist, their discussion on how best to get to the temple, and Clarota turning on them once they got there to the temple were all just a blur in his mind. But Clarota’s face smeared across the floor, the way that K’varn’s eyes looked as he came back from the dead, and the way it sounded when Tiberius ripped the Horn of Orcus from the thing’s skull were clear as anything. And then there was the exact amount of pressure Vax had used- firm but chaste, the way his lips had felt- chapped and dry, and how Percy’s heart had jumped when Vax had kissed him. That was the clearest thing he could remember through the entire battle. “Let’s get out of here you bastard!” He’d shouted. He could remember the inflections of his voice, the way Vax’s eyes had shone. 

“Fuck.” Percy muttered to himself. “I- fuck.” No one heard him. He downed the rest of his drink, coming to the frank realization that he was utterly, and irreversibly in love with Vax’ildan. He raised his hand to indicate he wanted another glass, which was given to him immediately. He downed that just as quickly. Percy looked towards the bar, and immediately wished he hadn’t. The rest of Vox Machina were urging on Vax, as he took off his shirt showing a particularly nasty scar he’d gotten from K’varn to an Elvan woman. He hardly noticed as Vex slid into the booth across from him.

“What, you think looking at my brother shirtless is nasty too?” 

And, fuck Percy, honestly, he said something stupid. “Nah, quite the opposite.” 

Vex wolf-whistled. “What, got a crush on Vax’ildan?” She teased, thinking the answer was no. But Percy just flushed, not trusting himself to say another word. He stared down at his empty glass. There was silence on Vex’s end. He looked up at her sheepishly, knowing that by now, she’d have figured out the truth. He could only hope that she was drunk enough at this point that she wouldn’t remember this in the morning. As Percy looked at her, her expression went from shock to one of pure glee.

“Well I have to set you two up then!” It seemed like Vex thought that this was all very simple.

“No, Vex’ahlia…” He sighed. “Yes. I’m in love with your brother.” Saying it aloud for the first time made if feel all that more real. “But in all honesty, he doesn’t like me back. He thinks of me as a friend. A friend he flirts with just as he flirts with Gilmore.” He spat his last sentence quite bitterly. 

“Shh, nooo. I’m 90% positive he’s got some feelings towards Gilmore, so you’re grand.”

“And how the hell is that supposed to make me feel any better about this?”

“Well you said he flirts with you just like he flirts with Gilmore, so if he likes Gilmore, then he likes you!” 

“I think your logic is a little flawed. Besides, if he does like Gilmore, then I have even less hope.”

“That’s not what I’m trying to say, Percy, here, let me start over. Vax likes you. I don’t know if he like likes you, but there’s definitely a chance. Stand up.”

Percy did not stand up. 

“Stand up. Come on.” 

Percy, after a little bit longer, finally conceded. Standing, he brushed off his clothes, still dirty from the fight with K’varn.

“Vax!”

Percy immediately regretted his decision to do anything Vex asked of him. Vax started towards them.

“This is really a bad id-” Percy began.

“Hush, no it’s fine follow my lead.”

“Hey Vax!” 

Vax still didn’t have his shirt back on.

And then Percy felt Vex slap his ass, and he stumbled forward, directly onto Vax’s naked torso.

“Fuck- Vex’ahlia!” Percy barked, jumping back from Vax. He turned to look at her angrily. He side-stepped, slightly drunk. 

“What? It’s not like you didn’t like it.” She winked.

“I think it’s time for you to leave Vex’ahlia.” He told her through gritted teeth. “Perhaps it’s time for all of us to leave. You know what yeah,” He unsteadily stood on a chair, thinking for a moment that conceivably, he could fall off and die from this as opposed to battling K’varn.

“Vox Machina!” He shouted, “Finish up your drinks, we’re going home.”

“Ah don’t be a spoilsport, Perc.” Vax told him cheekily, as Vex wandered off to talk to Keyleth.

“I’m not, it’s just time to go home.” He immediately regretted snapping at Vax, but the harm was already done.

“Fine.” Vax looked hurt, and slightly disappointed. 

“I’m- I’m sorry.” Percy apologized, “I didn’t mean to shout.” He said, quietly.

Vax waved it off. “Oh, can I ask why my sister slapped your ass earlier?” It was an innocent enough question, but it seemed to have something behind it. Percy flushed again.

“I- uh- listen, if- ugh, if Vex tells you… things, just, promise you won’t… hate me?” Percy’s voice was smaller than it’d ever been.

“Percy,” Vax suddenly seemed rather sober, surprised, “I’m never going to hate you.” His voice was soft. Voice still small, Percy felt tears prick at his eyes. “You don’t know that.” 

“I-” Vax started, and it looked like he was debating doing something, but then he just shook his head. “I… I’m not going to hate you, I promise. You can just tell me.”

And Percy was so tempted to. 

At which point Keyleth, having finished her conversation with Vex, walked over to talk to them.

“You know,” She drawled, somewhat tipsy herself, “I’ve heard some interesting gossip from Vex.” She winked at Percy,

“You- she did what? Vex’ahlia!”

Vex, walking towards them, “Judging my your tone, I’m not here so you can thank me for setting-”

Percy cut her off quickly. “Why would I thank- that was private, Vex’ahlia.” He fumed, his trust for the woman crumbling away under them. 

“Oh. Keyleth, you weren’t supposed to tell him.”

“You know what,” Percy decided before any of them could make it any worse, starting to move across the room, gathering various members of Vox Machina as he did so.

“We’re going.” He finalized as soon as he’d rounded up all of their group.  
“What?” Scanlan protested, “Why?” 

“Because some of us,” He glared at Vex, “Can’t handle themselves. And,” He added as a side note, “For- for fuck’s sake Vax, put your damn shirt on.”

Rather disgruntled, everyone finally complied, leaving with him, finally heading in the direction of Greyskull Keep.

Vax slumped down into a chair, smiling contentedly.

Percy, seeing this, shouldered his affections, and walked up the steps to his own room, suddenly feeling very cold and lonely. 

Wracking sobs came to him as soon as he closed the door. He pressed his hand against his mouth, surprised that he was crying so suddenly, not having been like this since the Briarwoods. 

He felt so betrayed. He knew that Vex cared about him, and in her drunken state only thought she was helping, but something about her telling Keyleth about his feelings towards Vax felt harsh. It’s not that he didn’t trust Keyleth, but he hadn’t wanted anyone to find out about how he felt, Vex and Keyleth included. 

Percy crawled into his bed, warm and comforting. He wrapped his blankets around himself, as he leaned against the headboard and let himself cry. 

Emotions swirled inside him, and it was only now he realized that he was so fearful. 

Fearful that Vax would find out. Fearful he’d hate him. Fearful he wouldn’t hate him, but laugh at him. Or be disgusted by him. 

He didn’t realize that he was being loud until he heard a soft knock at the door. Panic surged through him, not knowing if it was the one person he couldn’t face, yet longed to see.

“Percy?” The soft voice was concerned.

It was Pike.

Wiping his face off, trying to compose himself, Percy shook the blankets off and walked to answer the door.

“Yes?” He knew his voice was strained, and his emotions all bared through it.

Now that he could see the gnome, Percy noticed how tired she looked. Tired, and yet still worried for her friends. He couldn’t help but to smile a little. 

“Can I come in?” 

Percy stepped aside, letting her into his room, which was still nearly perfect, yet impersonal. 

She closed the door behind her. “What’s wrong, Percy?” She seemed genuine, somehow that making the entire scenario that much worse. 

He sat down on his bed, too tired to come up with an excuse, a lie.

“What’s wrong?” He repeated her question. “Pike… I… I wish I could tell you. But I don’t know who I can trust anymore.” Images flashed before him. Vex’s drunkenly smiling face as she just tried to help. Clarota looking up at him as he was attached to the back of Scanlan’s head.

“Is this about something that happened at the bar? You seemed awfully in a hurry to get out of there.”

Vax leaning forward towards a busty Elvan woman, showing her the scars on his chest.

Vax casually flirting with Gilmore, lazily as if he could do it in his sleep.

Vax’s lips on his cheek, strong but without feeling.

And when Percy opened his mouth to respond, all that came out was a strangled sob. Pike sat down on the bed next to him, starting to gently stroke his back. 

“I just…” Percy barely whispered, “I love him.” His eyes were wide and watery. 

“Okay. So, tell him.”

“You don’t even know who, you don’t even know whether he likes me back, you don’t even know-”

“You love Vax, don’t you?”

“You- how did you...?” He looked up into her eyes, thoroughly confused. 

“Well, you don’t know many people besides us, and ruling out Grog rather easily, the only other men in Vox Machina are Scanlan, Tiberius, and Vax. And really the most likely of them is Vax, so…” She seemed sympathetic. All the fight drained out of Percy. “I- what can I do?”

He knew Pike could hear how distressed he was. She gave him a look of pure pity. “I told you. Tell him. Trust me, knowing that he won’t reciprocate would be better than false hope. Or he likes you back.” 

“But why would he like me?”

“Now Percival you stop that right now.” Pike’s voice was suddenly fierce and fiery. “You are a wonderful person. Why wouldn’t he like you? Now how about I go downstairs, sober Vax up and tell him to see you?” Somehow her calming voice, her graceful presence made the idea sound alright. He nodded. 

Pike patted him on the back one more time before she hopped off the bed, and left, closing the door behind her. 

It took only three or so minutes for Vax to knock on his door, but it felt like an eternity. 

“Come in.” Percy said, taking this one last time to wipe his eyes. He knew that Vax would be able to see how red his eyes were, how raw his nose was.   
Vax looked worried as he entered, even more worried when he saw Percy’s face.

“Percy, oh my god, what is it?” 

Oh bless Vax. The expression on his face was near enough to make Percy stand up and kiss him right there, but he restrained himself with the fear of rejection. 

He did start crying again, though.

Vax rushed to his side, touching his arm kindly and making noises of discontent.  
“Percy, if this is something I did… I am so sorry, just tell me and I swear I’ll never do it again.” Percy could see that he was telling the truth. 

Vax gently wiped a tear off Percy’s cheek, used his sleeve to wipe snot from Percy’s nose. 

“You’re just getting your shirt dirty.” Percy grumbled, half-heartedly pushing Vax’s hand from him. 

“I can get another shirt. I can’t get another Percy.” His voice was tender and fond. Percy looked at him, eyes wide, mouth falling open slightly. 

And, fuck Percy, honestly, he did something stupid. He kissed Vax. 

Only for a second, but it conveyed so much more than Percy could have said with words. 

And then he backed off, eyes wide, mouth falling open slightly. 

“I am so sorry.” Percy whispered.

Then Vax, the absolute bastard, laughed. Laughed from absolute glee. 

“Is this what you’re crying about? Percy, I… Why?” Amusement shone in his eyes. 

“Because… I,” Percy stared at him in confusion, in anger, “I love you.” All humor left Vax’s eyes.

“I love you, and you… you damn perfect bastard you laugh, when I’m… You kiss me, and…” He was having trouble completing his thoughts. 

Until Vax kissed him, and Percy had trouble starting them. 

“I’m laughing,” Vax told him, when he broke off, “I kissed you, because I love you. Because I’m not the damn perfect bastard here, you are. Because you cry, and you still look amazing. Because you’re sweet, and beautiful. Because you make things, create something out of nothing. Because you’re kind to people who might not deserve it, aka me. Because I don’t understand how anyone could not love you. Because you care for everyone here. Because there’s a thousand reasons for me to kiss you. Because Percival Fredrickstien Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo the third, I love you.”

And Percy smiled. “You really think that?” Vax nodded. “I mean it dearly.”

“You know, I don’t technically make something out of nothing, that’d be breaking Newton’s-”

“Because you’re a damn nerd. God.” Vax kissed him again, again and again. 

“So Percy.” Vax grinned slyly at him, “Let’s get out of here you bastard.”


End file.
